Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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