Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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