you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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