Walk of Shame. In a state park.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
