Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
