I bet he comes in French.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
