Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
