if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Even my vagina gasped.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
