The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
