I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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