Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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