he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
