i want to swaddle you in tequila
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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