I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
