just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
