we made out on top of his cat.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
the liver wants what the liver wants
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
