Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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