Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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