You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
All the doctor said was why
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
