Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
