Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
