Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize