they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
