Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
