actually, I'm a sock model
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
