READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
