you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
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