There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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