First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
