Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize