how do flat chested girls get laid?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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