Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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