Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
