I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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