So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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