Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
