I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize