I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
