Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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