she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize