I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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