my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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