I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
