Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
