Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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