so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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