i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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