She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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