This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
