Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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