Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
