I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
