Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize