Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Is Oprah even human
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
