TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
